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bigstock-Believe-In-New-Growth-45473365I truly believe that in order to feel valued we must put value out into the world.

If you want people to care, then you must do something people care about.  You must be a giver in this world, not a taker.

We, as humans, have an inherent desire to create.

We know deep down inside that we have value to share but often deny ourselves the chance to do so out of fear.  This fear goes all the way back to our early ancestors as a natural, instinctive way to keep us safe.  Yet, if we cling to the safety of our cave, how will we ever find nourishment?

To nourish our souls, we must evolve, move past this fear that holds us back, and believe in the impossible.

I chose to let go of my fear and believe in the impossible when I began my journey towards self-employment.  I’ve taken many scary steps in my life, but none nearly as frightening as going out on my own and starting my own business.  But that fear held nothing against an even bigger fear that had been constantly growing inside of me – a fear that I would end up living a life not of my own choosing and leaving me full of dissatisfaction and regret.

I knew it would be hard.  If being successful owning and operating your own small business were easy a lot more people would do it.

However, even those who dream of independence fear the risks of going it alone or shy away from the hard work at hand.  To mitigate these risks and assuage these fears, they engage in traditional work instead.  By seeking the safety of a large company, they can avoid the ups and downs of running their own venture. Typically they have few major decisions on the direction of the company.  Yet they also typically share fewer of the rewards.  Not just financial rewards but the reward of personal satisfaction.

Yes, it is hard to go after your dreams.

However, so is living a life unhappy and unfulfilled.  Dreams have a direct relationship with effort.  The more a dream is worth realizing, the more effort you must put into making it so.  But consider that our lives are made up of the sum of our experiences.  Without challenges, how do we as individuals grow?  Overcoming adversity makes us who we are.

When we exercise, our muscles get tiny tears that our bodies heal.  In doing so, the muscles become stronger for next time.  When first starting out, your body typically gets incredibly sore.  However, after continued training, your body becomes accustomed to those activities and has grown resilient against the challenges it faces.

In the beginning, your stumbles feel magnified.

Facing your fears works the same way. You feel the pains of just beginning and making mistakes.  You may struggle in your work and find difficulty reaching your goals with ease.

When you get caught up in these moments of self-pity and discouragement asking yourself, “why me?” we miss our opportunity for growth and wisdom.  Instead, look for the good in every situation and ask yourself what lesson you have learned.  Will you let these experiences be the ones that make you?  Or will they be the ones to break you?  You must have that fighting spirit that says you will never give up.

Adversity doesn’t hold you back.

However, how you deal with it might.  You must accept that problems will occur simply as a part of life and you must deal with them.  To resist makes them persist.  Yes, facing these fears can cause much anxiety.  But this anxiety comes from not believing you can overcome these obstacles or that you will fall short of your goal.  You must believe to achieve.

Focus on why you began this journey in the first place.

Simply having a positive attitude is not enough.  You must work positively towards a goal.  Keep that goal in sight – literally and figuratively.  Put up visual reminders in your workspace. Engage in visualization techniques in your mind. Share your dreams with your friends and family.  Make your goal real.

Prepare yourself and understand you will face tough times ahead.

While these growing pains may be inevitable, your suffering does not have to be.  Remember, setbacks aren’t failure.  It only becomes failure when you stop trying.  Maintain faith in yourself and remain optimistic that you will reach your goals.  Believe in yourself even if no one else does.

Take inspiration from others.  You are not alone.

Everyone fights her own personal battles in life.  Be inspired by those who show or have shown strength despite these perceived obstacles and setbacks.  Inspire yourself.  Remind yourself of other times you faced an impossible situation yet still prevailed.  Think of that feeling of accomplishment and satisfaction that flooded your body when you did so.  You believed in the impossible and you overcame.  Believe in the impossible once more and you will do it again.

*As previously published in Soulwoman eMagazine. Download the current issue FREE at!